Dr. Poopy, Here we come

This afternoon we go to the poop doctor. (That’s a pediatric gastroenterologist for you adults reading.)

I get so nervous going to these "special" doctors. I want to get help for Spence so badly, but I don’t want them to have to do any tests on him or for him to have a bad experience. To calm my nerves, I wrote out everything about Spence’s diet and poop habits that I could think of. I tried to reconstruct the last 9 weeks(!) so I can accurately tell the doctor what’s changed or hasn’t changed in Spence’s diet since the problems started. At the very least, I’m prepared.

I’m also nervous for the nanny to bring Spencer into Manhattan. (They are meeting me at the doctor since I work nearby.) She’s never taken him on the subway before. But, she’s totally capable and I’m sure she’ll have no problem, so I should just chill now.

Update later today when we get back. To be continued…

Update:

So, after a very, very long hour+ in the waiting room, the diagnosis is severe constipation. We have a prescription to try since the food-based solutions haven’t worked. Dr. Poopy ruled out colitis and a milk allergy, but wants him to get tested for celiac disease. I was happy to leave with something new to try – I just hope it works and it’s not too harsh for my little guy. He told me that it’s not technically approved for infants, but they’ve been using it successfully for a number of years. If I weren’t at such a big hospital, I might have balked. But, I do feel like they probably have a pretty sound basis for their judgement because of the number of patients they see and have tried it with.

The Month of Laughs

Guess who is 7 months old today?

Yep, it’s our old pal Spencer.

I think I’m going to fondly look back on this month as our month of laughs. I can’t ever remember laughing as much as I’ve laughed this month. When I laugh, he laughs. I love to make him laugh, so I laugh a lot. He loves to make me laugh, so it all works out nicely. We’re one BIG reciprocal laugh! (Except of course when it’s time to go to bed then, we’re one big ear piercing scream-o-rama.)

For example:

He’s a good sport and lets me dress him up so I can have a laugh:

Other times, he just knows what to do without my help*:

And sometimes we’re just goofy together like when we discover we dressed alike and have similar bellies**:

So, all in all, I can’t find much to complain about this month. It would be great if the teeth finally came in and the poop finally came out, but who cares when you’re laughing so hard?

* Daddy has (rightfully so) dubbed this his Playgirl centerfold pose.

** I can’t believe I posted my belly blubber for the world to see. Obviously all the laughing has dislodged some brain matter. 

On the topic of poop

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It’s all I talk about lately. All I think about. We’re waging a war against poop in our household and the poop is winning!

The big question these days is: When will Spencer poop?

The answer seems to be every Friday. But only on Friday. Which conveniently is my day off work that I spend with him – He saves it for me. It’s an absolutely horrible ordeal for both of us. My heart breaks while his butt breaks.

If you were to eavesdrop on our apartment, you might think you’re overhearing a midwife birthing a baby. But, it’s just me, desperately trying to help Spence.

"Come on, honey. You can do it. One more push. Just one more push. Push! Push!"

7 weeks of this people! We’ve tried soy formula, hypo-allergenic formula, milk formula, prunes, prune juice, pear juice, pears, apples, lots of water. Nothing seems to have the slightest effect. This morning I pulled out the big guns – the glycerine suppository. I put it in and waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing! Our last hope is karo syrup which he’s getting as I write. Please, please, please.

The pediatrician tells me that we seem to be doing everything right. So, he wants us to visit a GI specialist to investigate further. Until then, the battle with poop rages on and this poor soldier is looking forward to some reinforcements.

PS – I guess I’m officially a mommyblogger now that I’ve written a post about nothing but poopy. Right?

I coulda been a stalker

Woulda, coulda, shoulda. I totally missed my chance to be a celebrity stalker. I was apparently walking around in a total fog this week because I failed to notice that Tina Fey was shooting a movie about 60 steps from my apartment. Damn. At least I have a movie to look forward to seeing – Mean Girls about Moms? Dare I dream?

LOSER=ME

Ok, so I think the hormones are stabilizing and now I’m sad for a new reason. All my shows are ending and it’s going to be time for the summer re-runs soon! My couch won’t know what to do without my fat rump on it every night.

Deep breath.

I will try my darndest to live in the moment and just look forward to all the season finales I get to watch this week.

Dancing With The Stars – I only watch this show with remote in hand so I can fastforward through all the sentimental stuff between the dances. But, I am excited to see who wins next week because the 3 left – Laila, Apolo and Joey – are all REALLY good. There is nobody to root against anymore. I was so tootin’ happy to see Ian "Cheeseball" Ziering go home this week. Well overdue.
My pick to win: Apolo  He danced to Salt N’ Pepa last week. Mad props.

America’s Next Top Model – Natasha "I vant to thank you for dee criticism" has a shot, but I think in the end she’s just a little too kooky to win. Jaslene "feed me PLEASE" has a better shot, but I don’t think she can give different looks.   
My pick to win: Renee She’s been the front-runner from the beginning which usually spells disaster on reality tv. But, I think she’s going to pull through. She’s got talent and the complementary sob story.

LOST – The season has steadily improved and I’m more confused than ever (which is the goal of the writers – right?). But, the LOST writers seem to know how to build up to the BIG finale, so I’m excited to see what they have in store for us. I almost don’t want to watch though because I just heard the show isn’t coming back until February. Not fair to make us wait that long!
My pick to die: Juliet – We lost the love triangle when Jack hooked up with Juliet. The show needs the Jack/Kate/Sawyer sexual tension. I don’t think she’s got long now.

Real World Denver – Drink, drank, drunk. Who cares? I’m officially too old for this show. (But, I will keep watching The Gauntlet because I’m a sucker for those challenges. And as a bonus some of the contestants are actually older than me.)
My pick to get drunk and do something stupid: Everyone

Grey’s Anatomy – Hmmm. This show definitely lost something this season, but I’m still watching. I think the wedding will happen, but with the requisite melodrama. But, I’m not so sure how the George/Callie/Izzie triangle will unfold.
My pick to announce she’s pregnant: Izzie

The Office – YAY Jenna for finally speaking your mind last week. You go girl! But I don’t think it’s going to get you Jim. That would be too easy.
My pick to get the job at corporate: Jim

30 Rock – I somehow didn’t even realize I had watched the season finale already. Maybe it was better that way. Had I known, I might have shed some tears.  I miss you! XOXOXOXO

Blue Mom, Blue Mom, What do you say?

I say these hormones are not okay.

In the past week, I cried watching Grey’s Anatomy. I cried reading a book. I cried over nothing at all. I’m going to blame it on the hormonal letdown from the weaning. I feel suspicously like I did those first two weeks after giving birth. Why didn’t anyone warn me about this? How long does it last? (And more importantly, at what point do my boobs go back to their former size?)

Despite the weepiness, I did have a lovely mother’s day. I got treated to extra time in bed, brunch, flowers, and a strong vodka drink to wash it all down with.

An effortless transition into talking about crankiness should go here. But, I’m lacking one. So, just read on, please.

Spence has been cranky, cranky, cranky the last few days and not sleeping well, which I hope means teeth are imminent and the interminable teething is going to take a break. Please dear god. I gave him infant tylenol for the first time this weekend. I don’t like taking painkillers, so I’d never given any to him, but this stuff was like magic. He un-cranked within 15 minutes. Amazing. What a dumbass I am for not using it sooner!

I’m cranky today too and tylenol isn’t going to cure this malady. I’m cranky because the men I work with are off today for mother’s day (I work for a website for moms, so it’s a quirky job perk they give us), but I am here because I had Friday off, so somehow they think this is fair. But, I have every Friday off – that’s my normal schedule. And I’m actually a mom. I deserve this day off more than they do. I shouldn’t be surprised. My male boss also laughed at my request a few months ago for an empty office to be turned into a lactation room. Now that office is used for playing darts. And the extra mini fridge is now in my boss’s office full of Diet Cokes.

I can’t wait for him to have some kids of his own.

The final let down

Somehow I thought weaning would be this long drawn out process. Establishing breastfeeding was so difficult, so stopping would be difficult too. But, I think I’m done. Just like that. I haven’t pumped since a little bit yesterday morning. I’m not engorged or in pain. Spencer likes formula, so hasn’t seemed to notice the change. I think I can officially pack up my pump. I guess it was quick and easy for us since we’d already established bottle feeding, supplemented with formula, and we weren’t nursing much anymore.

• I feel sad. I will miss knowing I am giving him life. I will miss the bond.
• I feel free. I’m not worried about my supply. I’m not pumping every few hours.
• I feel guilty. Maybe I should have done it longer.

I know someday I can look back with pride, but I’m not feeling it today.

The Last 17 hours with Spence

Yesterday

5pm – Meet nanny and Spence at the pediatrician’s office for his 6-month check-up. Nanny debuts Spence’s "homeboy" look (her words, not mine). I recoil for a moment, then see how freaking cute my little homeboy is, so I leave the hat on sideways.

5:15 – Spence charms all the nurses in the doctor’s office with his big smiles. But, apparently they aren’t charmed enough to get us in for our appointment on time.

5:30 – FINALLY, we get to leave the sick kids and go into the exam room. I get Spence nekkid and we put him on the scale – 19 pounds!  (That’s 75th  percentile for anyone keeping score.) Then  it’s plop – down on the exam table for his height measurement – 27 3/4 inches – 90th percentile. We’re really not sure where this height is coming from. (And, no, our mailman isn’t THAT tall.)

5:35 – I try futilely to keep Spence from eating the paper covering the exam table. That stuff must be non-toxic – right?

5:40 – Brrft. Brrft. I really hope that was a fart and not poop or the doctor’s going to get a surprise when he takes off that diaper.

5:45 – YAY! The doctor has finally arrived.

5:48 – Exam is over. All is well. Time for the shots. I play the Bop The Nose game with Spence while he gets 3 shots and he actually laughs through them. Wow, I am like super mom. Pediatrician must be impressed with my mad skills.

6:00 – Homeward bound. Everyone we pass laughs at my little homeboy’s new look.

6:45 – PJ’s, diaper change, and 8 oz of formula later and we’re OUT. Earliest bedtime EVER.

Today
4:50am – I hear noises. Screamy, but not totally unhappy sounds coming from the room next door. I decide to ignore them and see if they go away.

5:00 – The screamies definitely sound unhappy now.

5:30 – A bottle and some rocking and we’re back in bed. Together. Sleeping.

7:30 – Bolt upright. Look at alarm clock which has been rendered obsolete since we brought Spence home from the hospital. 7:30? And we’re still sleeping? Is this my baby?

Apparently all the sleep had magic restorative powers. Because  when he woke up, all of sudden my baby was able to sit up on his own!

Sometimes words aren’t enough

So, it’s photo time.

Playing with his birthday cupcakes

At the church dreaming of brunch

A post-baptism treat – Yummy avocado!

God is good. Sometimes.

The Good:

After months of waffling because of my own off again/on again relationship with the Catholic Church, we finally had Spencer baptized yesterday. I decided that it was best to get him baptized so that he can make his own decisions about organized religion later in life (without having to undergo adult baptism). So, for 2 hours (mass then baptism) I renounced Satan, prayed that my dress seams wouldn’t burst, and daydreamed of the yummy eggs benny waiting for me at brunch. Spencer was an angel. Really, he was. He even entertained his grandparents by making cute smiley faces at them as they sat in the pew behind us.

The Bad:

Spencer’s godfather didn’t make it to the church in time for the baptism.

And he didn’t call to tell us he was running late.

My dad ended up filling in during the ceremony which I’m still not sure if that’s technically allowed (we are talking about the Catholic Church here – there’s a rule for everything). Talk about stress! Turns out he was stuck in traffic. It happens. Driving in this area is a total nightmare sometimes. The 20-mile drive between our houses might take 45 minutes or it might take 2.5 hours like it did for them yesterday.

Plus, he had hurt his back earlier that morning. (And, we have reason to suspect he might have been hungover.) The back was so bad in fact, that he could hardly stand upright and instead of coming to brunch with us, he went to the hospital.

What a horrible day for him. I felt bad for him and hope he’s feeling better today. But, dear God, this is precisely why cell phones were invented! Let us know you’re running late!   

The Ugly:

My uncle-in-law – king of all thing inappropriate – congratulated Ian on our pregnancy. He could "just tell that I was pregnant again by the way I was dressed". Nothing like a pregnant comment 6 months post-partum to shoot a girl’s self-esteem down the toilet.

Photos coming shortly